Muslim Jokes

Ek baar Santa road par potty kar raha tha.
Toh POLICE use utha kar le gayi.

Jaise hi police use le jane lagti hai

 


“SANTA-BANTA Jokes”

SANTA: Main ek baar apne bathroom me susu karne gaya
BANTA: Phir ??

SANTA: Phir kya maine sher ko bola “G aap hi karlo, mera to nikal gaya”

 


Teacher: What is the chemical symbol of Barium ?
Student: BA

Teacher: Sodium ?
Student: NA

Teacher: If 1 atom of BA and 2 atoms of NA are combined, then what do we get ?
Student: BANANA

“Students rock”

 


A boy went to Police Station and said “I can’t find my Girlfriend”
POLICE: Kab se nahi mili ?
BOY: Bachpan se

 


A boy calls his girlfriend “Copper Tellirium”
GIRL: WHAT ??
BOY: You are Cute (CU = Copper, TE = Tellirium)

 


BOY: TUM MUJHE PYAR KARTI HO ?
GIRL: YES BABY
BOY: BUT TUMHE TO MERI PARWAH HI NI HAI
GIRL: BABY, PYAR KARNE WALE KISI KI PARWAH NI KARTE

 


H = Half
O = Of
M = My
E = Energy
W = Wasted
O = On
R = Random
K = Knowledge

 


Muslim Jokes

 


Muslim Jokes

 


KITNI BHI KOSHISH KARO PYAAR ME VISHWAS BANANE KI

Ek episode hi kaafi hai sab khatam karne ke liye
“SAAVDHAN INDIA” ka

 


BOY: I came to your home yesterday evening.
Girl: Then what happened?
BOY: Nothing, i don’t think we need to drop the idea of our marriage.
GIRL: But why?? Did my parents say something?
BOY: NO, I met your younger sister.

 


TIRED OF LONELINESS??
Watch a horror movie in the dark room.
CONGRATULATIONS !! You are no more lonely.
πŸ˜€

 


FATHER: Why is your mother quite today?
SON: Actually dad, she asked for lip stick before sometime.
FATHER: So, what?
SON: I mistakenly gave her Fevi stick. B-)
FATHER: Good Job, my son !!
Hahahahahahahaa……

 


BEST JOKE ON GIRLS:
2 Girls were sitting quietly together
B-)

 


OLD TREND
Neki kar aur dariya mein daal

NEW TREND
Kuch bhi karo aur facebook par dalo

 


Pappu: Yaar mujhe samajh ni arha
SONU: Kya nahi samjh arha hai bhaiya
Pappu: Facebook ne Whatsapp ko 19 billion dollar me kyu kharida

 


Don’t be sad if you don’t have valentine on 14th Feb.
Bcz most of the people don’t have Aids on AIDS Day too.

 


Imran KHAN: I need 100 young boys to change the nation.
Imran HASHMI: I need 100 young girls to create new nation.
πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

 


FATHER: Beta Sharab or ldkiya tumhari jaan ki dushman hain, ense dur raha karo
SON: Papa Main mard hoon, Main apne dushman ka samna karunga.

 


TEACHER: Tum aj phir late aye
STUDENT: Madam main to time pe hi nikalta hu
MADAM: Acha to late kyu aate ho
STUDENT: Madam raste me board lga hai – School Ahead, Go Slow!

 


A girl failed in English Exam says to her friend:
Main English mein fail kesi ho sakti hu yaar, IT’S UNPOSSIBLE !!

 


Bhaya Kitne bhi angrez ban jao
GAALI To hindi me hi dene me maza hai.

 


DO PAAGAL CRICKET DEKHNE GAYE

Batsman ne chakka maara,
1 PAGAL: Waah kya goal maara hai bhaiya.
2 PAGAL: Abe pagal hai kya, goal to cricket mein hota hai ….
πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

 


BEST RECIPE

Kuch angoor cup mein dalo,
Ab ek angoor muh me dalo,
Phir Sheeshe mein dekho,
THE DISH IS READY NOW…….
Langoor ke muh me angoor !!
KYU KESI LAGI DISH.

 


Beggar: Sahib 1 rupya dedo
MAN: Kal aana Chutta paisa nahi hai.
Beggar: Essi chakkar me mere Lakhon rupaye fase hueΒ hain.

 


GIRL: Tum ek din me kitni bar shave karte ho??
BOY: 20-30 baar to kar hi leta hu.
GIRL: Tum Pagal ho kya??
BOY: Nahi main NAAYI hu. πŸ˜€

 


Jo husband apni wife se darta hai,
WO SWARG MEIN JATA HAI.

Or jo nahi darta,
USKE LIYE Dharti hi swarg hai.

 


Story of Students:
Pure saal disco karte hain,
Paper se 2 din pehle Bhagwan ke bhajan gaate hain….

 


Boy: Main 18 years ka hu πŸ™‚ or tum?
Girl: Main bhi 18 years ki hu
Boy: To sharma kyu rahi ho, chalo phir
Girl: Kaha ????

Boy: VOTE dene πŸ˜‰

Soch Badlo, Desh Badlega….

 


Women call me ugly until they know my income,
Then they call me ugly and poor. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

 


Boy: Hey, i fell in love with you when i saw you for the first time.
Girl: Hindi me boliye, hum ka kuch samjh nahi aya.
Boy: Lagta hai aaj barish hogi behen ji. πŸ˜€

 


Gareeb kare to Chori,

Ameer Kare to Dhoom 3….

 


Bhaya School ki Fees badhti ja rahi hai.
Jaldi se shadi karlo or bachho ko school me dalo. B-)

 


WHATSAPP ka kamaal
Aaj ek message aya jisme likha tha:
Ye Cigerette 5 group me bhejo, Admin k muh se dhuan niklega πŸ˜€

 


EK Kamaal ki baat:
Apni Biwi ki baatein LECTURE LAGTI HAIN or
DUSRO Ki Biwi ki GHAZAL….

 


Being Single VS. IN Relationship
SINGLE banda jal jal ke mar jaata hai,
RELATIONSHIP me lad lad ke mar jaata hai.

 


Kal meri gaadi ke aage 1 auto chal ra tha, uspe likha tha:

DUSRO KA MAAL DEKH KAR HAIRAN NA HO,
KHUDA tumko bhi dega, PARESHAN NA HO…. πŸ˜€

 


JALI ko AAG kehte hain,
BUJHI ko RAAKH kehte hain,
or jo EXAMS ke waqt kaam na kare,
Usko DIMAAG kehte hain.

 


A man tries to steal the slippers fromΒ MASJID
MOLVI says : Ganja kar do es aadmi ko, esne chappal churai hai
MAN : Bhaya g Fauji cutting hi kar do, main chappal wapas de deta hu.
πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

 


SONU: Kaha ja ra h bhai
MONU: KARKHANE ja raha hu bhai jaan
SONU: Bhai Khana ni bana ghar me? jo car khane ja rahe ho πŸ˜€

 


HEIGHT OF ILLITERACY
A BOY was writing his girlfriend’s name on his hands.
And makes a spelling mistake

 


 

Beggar (Lady): Please give me 1 rupee. I am hungry for three day.
Man: Take it, but you are hungry for three days. What will you do with this 1 rupee.
Beggar (Lady): I will check my weight, how much i have lost… πŸ˜€

 


Ek Aadmi aam bech raha tha, to Sonu ne pucha: Bhai Aam kese diye
To aadmi bola: Pehle taraju me tolta hu, phir pack kar ke paise leleta hu…. πŸ™‚

 


A husband trying to train the dog,
Then wife says: U will never succeed in training him.
Husband: I have to just keep the patience as i did with u.
I also felt difficulty to train you in starting. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

 


A man goes to sell his murgi.
Buyer: Achi hai, per eska sir kyu jhuka hua hai.
Seller: Are gaon ki murgi hai bhaya, esliye sharmili hai.

 


The best reply by a husband:
Doctor: You and your wife have the same blood group.
Man: Ha wo to hoga hi, itne saalo se mera khoon jo pi rahi hai πŸ˜€

 


Sonu: Bhai “KHUSHI” kise bolte hain ?
Monu: Mujhe kya pta bhai, meri to chote me hi shadi ho gayi thi πŸ˜€

 


A Frustrated boy asks God:
Why the hell did you make these girls?
God: So, that you can love them.
Boy: But why did not you give them mind.
God: So, that they can love you. πŸ™‚

 


Are you genius??
Then try saying these four words, four time quickly
EYE, YAM, STEW, PEED.

Now you are GENIUS. πŸ˜€

 


The biggest problem with the new generation:

They can’t sleep atΒ NIGHT
And can’t wake up in the MORNING.

 


Seedhi Baat hai bhaya:

Chand jaisi DULHAN laoge to,
Din me taare to dikhayegi hi.
πŸ˜›Β πŸ˜›Β πŸ˜›Β πŸ˜›Β πŸ˜›Β πŸ˜›

 


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